Nepal: Cleaning Up

I have some time to kill until a friend arrives from Pokhara...
 
With the lack of hot water (due to no electricity, mostly), I've become quite comfortable not showering every day. I've tossed aside western standards of cleanliness, and don't mind not showering daily, and when active (trekking or bike trip) if I smell, I smell. And since I'm not working, the dirt under my nails doesn't really bother me either.
 
But for some reason, the unruly hair around the back of my neck was just nagging me. The downfall of having closely shaved hair. [Oh, I shaved my head again in November, which is perfect for traveling]. You can't really shave back there, not without taking a chance and really making a really bad mistake and an erratic mess of a good hair line.
 
So, after lunch I decided to go get my neck shaved. I figured it would take all of 5 minutes and maybe 100 or 200 rupees... My only hesitation was making sure the blade would be soaking in some cleaning solution... flashbacks to the hepatitis C outbreak among uncleaned razors years ago.
 
So I popped into a HOLE in the WALL place, for a neck shave. Oh, and just to clarify, it is POURING rain outside. And I've been told all month that it never rains in Nepal in December. So if you think it sounds like an assinine waste of vacation time to get a neck shave, there really isn't much else to do beside drink coffee/tea, read, do email, and get a neck shave.
 
With bits of gesturing I think I get the point across that I need my neck shaved. So I sit down, and out come the clippers. And while I wouldn't mind a bit taken off the everywhere, I don't want to hassle with that now, I can do that in a week when I am back home in Jo'burg.
 
So he puts away the clippers, and moistens the hair around my neck and ears. Perfect, I think. I'll back to the coffee shop in 10 minutes, reading, and waiting for Dilip.
 
But I leave an hour and a half later.
 
Wow.
 
So, after a meticulous neck shave (with a new blade on an old style shaver), I got a scalp/head massage. Wow. And I factor in a few more rupees for the bill. And then the power goes out, and a candle is lit. And as the power went out, the rain went from a drizzle to buckets. And I'm dreading heading out in the rain. And I'm really enjoying the scalp massage, and I wonder if I have time to get a real massage (and more rupees flash before my eyes). As I think this, I'm now getting a neck massage, and then find myself leaning over the counter as I get a shoulder and back massage. And the paranoia in me wonders if this guy can read my thoughts (which would be embarrassing, because I'm thinking I wished this massage was coming from somebody younger and cuter). But I digress.
 
Wow. More rupees flash before my eyes.
 
It is still pissing rain. 
 
And now I get a facial-massage. This is a bit different, but I'm seriously taking this all in, and can't believe all I thought I would get in this TINY barber shop is a neck shave. Since the moment I arrived (and we made small talk about my trip to nepal and trek etc) he asks if I want my face shaved. Might as well. Though I am afraid, slightly, that he'll shave off the mole on my face and I'll bleed to death here. And of course I freak out forgetting that this guy can read my mind. I go to my buddhist mantra which I've been using since I learned it a month ago. He can read that all he wants.
 
My face is as smooth as a baby's ass after the shave. I notice he grabs another bottle. And then he paint (literally paints) something on my face, and he shows me and all I recognize is the word sandalwood. I'm cool with that.  But I don't know what it is. And I'm unsure if this is some kind of thick aftershave. But he hasn't undraped me, which I know is a universal sign that the business of salon stuff is over.
 
But now he is cleaning up. And don't forget, there is only a candle lighting the place. So I sit. What the hell, it is STILL raining out.
 
And that's when I realize I am getting a FACIAL. Whoa! [Bonus points for 'the card']. And now I'm really hoping that I get a manicure as well. The face mask dries, which is a bit of a weird feeling as well. I could get use to this, maybe wake up on saturdays, have porridge, apply face mask, read the paper, then shower?
 
The face mask is cleaned off. And I get aftershave on the lower portion of my face, and face cream on the upper portion.
 
And I'm sooo confused. How is it that I have thoroughly enjoyed this long pampering process (and now seem to have radiant skin), but also thoroughly enjoyed being smelly after a day of trekking, or getting to my hotel last night with mud covering various bits after the 40 mile bike ride back to Kathmandu???
 
I suspect, that in a nice salon, that would have been fifty dollars, maybe more...