Dear faithful blog reader,
This is the 118th post to this site. The first post was March 23rd, 2008. Just under a year ago. When I made that post, I had absolutely no idea if I would follow through on what would become this amazing experience. At the time that I made that post, I shared my concerns privately with some. Would I sink or sail when the time came? Was this a wise or unwise decision?
On the second post, in April, I was packing up my beloved apartment. I packed up memories of the friends who had stayed there. I packed up my outdoor equipment. I packed up the few worldly possessions which have any value to me-old family photos, completed journals. I packed up journal articles not yet read, and martini glasses which have never been used-a shame, I know.
In May, I posted about the meal Lucia and I had in Manhattan. A meal at an Ethiopian restaurant, where we chatted for hours, consuming the injera bread and a sweet honey tasting wine, while talking about our shared experience as medical students at Bara, as well as a mixture of reminiscing memories of Ireland, of excited discussions about future plans...
And then it was June. It was a whirlwind. At the hospital I had the amazing pleasure of working with one of my mentors on the wards (this person doesn't know it), of having a farewell dinner with my other mentor (who knows it). I made quick trips to Vermont and New Haven while trying to wrap up finishing details for my impending departure. The next thing I knew, I was at JFK Airport, surrounded by a cadre of friends who saw me board my flight. Little did they know, that as I watched them walk away, I still wasn't convinced I was making the best choice.
And since then, via this blog, I've shared.
I've shared my personal experiences at the world's largest hospital, treating a population rocked by economic deprivation, on a background history of racial discrimination, and a population burdened by one of the highest rates of HIV/AIDS in the world.
I've shared about kids whom I took care of; some who got better, and some who died. I don't think I'll ever forget the morning I heard KR had died. And I'll never forget S, the Ward 18 mascot when we took him to tea break one day, or when I carried him on my back around the hospital. I've shared what it was like to see so many kids brought into the pediatric HIV clinic by their grandparents. A generation is being raised without parents. I'll never forget how furious I was the night I had to keep checking the heartbeat of a 400g baby, who had been delivered by c-section. And the sense of injustice when I certified his death 3 hours later. I didn't share enough about what was probably the most incredible month of learning as a junior doctor, and that was the pediatric cardiology service at Bara.
And I shared about life outside of Bara. I shared about trips I've been fortunate to take-trips to Clarens, The Berg, Zimbabwe/Vic Falls, Lesotho, and other weekends trips. I've shared about how I've made friends here who provide refuge when I need some luxury and an escape. I shared a bit of Nepal, and how incredible it was to look up at the surrounding Himalayans and to be looking down as I knelt before the Buddhist monk as I was blessed.
And over the past 2 months I have shared what it has been like to work in the adult HIV clinic, as well as my overall introduction to medicine at Bara. I have shared how I can't believe that what I see today seems to parallel what was seen in the US almost two decades ago. Medically stuck in black hole... Not having "the resources" to treat the country which has the LARGEST NUMBER OF PEOPLE INFECTED WITH HIV IN THE WORLD!
And since then, there are things I didn't share... And they aren't going to magically appear now.
I go back and read these posts often. Sometimes I can recall being at the gym as I thought about how to write what would eventually end up as a post. Sometimes I remember sitting with a glass of wine or whiskey or coffee and getting lost in a train of thought midsentence, or going back and re-working a post and removing the blame which I had written in the post, which may have been misguided. Often times, I cringe at the typos and grammatical errors.
What may not be apparent, is the time that goes into this blog. Not that I mind, at all. But I find myself needing a bit of a break. I take immense gratification knowing that what I write, has been read. That I have been fortunate enough to share a bit, so far, of this amazing year. That, unlike one or two close friends of mine who also keep blogs, I haven't received criticism from anything that I have posted.
I find myself with a lot of things on my plate, and a lot of great plans for March, and I find myself needing a bit of a break from keeping up the blog.
But, that is where you come in. This is what I'd like to do: For the month of March, I'd like to open up my blog, for you to post. It's quite simple. You merely send an email to BackToBara.guest@blogger.com and that email will instantly appear on this blog. The post will be anonymous (unless you add your name to the email). For example, all of the posts that I have made have been from my hotmail account, using the address. [note: if your work email adds a privacy/security clause to the bottom of the outgoing email, it will automatically appear].
I ask that you please, please, please do not post about me. Please post about something which you think is in the spirit of this blog (being outraged at the conditions in Zim, or your own neighborhood, an experience of disparities in care/treatment/service). A joke. A News clip. Your favorite recipe. A new coffee shop. A post about your day at work. A post on your reaction to what I've posted over the past 8 months. There will be a guest moderator who will removed or edit posts as needed. You never know what whackos are out there who stumble across this site (or are reading this site) and will post some kind of advertisement for lengthening of a part of the male anatomy, or pills which will cure problems with that part of the male anatomy, or some guy in a foreign country who needs your bank details so they can put one gigabillion dollars in your account while they sell a kidney and then you wake up in a burned forest with Elvis.
May March usher in the start of spring, or fall depending on where you are in the world. I'll be back, full force in April when I will resume posts from the Adult HIV clinic at Bara.
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