Sunday, March 23, 2008

3 Months

3 months, and counting.

3 months from now I will have arrived in Johannesburg.

It is all a little surreal still at this point. Wait, it is VERY real, and very exciting, but still I can't believe that I am really going to get to do this.

Things are coming together nicely. I'm going to be applying for my visa the first week of April, and then I should be all set.

I'm most anxious about my schedule and the exact expectations of me during the first month or so. I keep conjuring up visions of being on call my first night at Bara. Granted, I've been on call quite a few nights this month, and am pretty comfortable being on call here. But there is an element of security to being on call here. I have an attending available by phone. There is another pedi resident in the Pedi-ICU, who is available to consult with. There are other med-peds residents in the hospital who I can bounce ideas off of, if needed. Granted, I haven't need to use any of them this month.

But for some reason I envision being on-call for pediatrics at Bara that first night, and admitting children with congenital HIV infections who are malnourished, who are septic, dehydrated, who I can't get an IV on, and I imagine that there is a power outage and I am working all alone and there is no translator, and I have no idea what the hell to do.

Essentially, I am writing my own "Worst Case Scenario" book on a daily basis when I think about the entry shock when I arrive.

Enough blogging right now, I need to go see where the hell I dropped my self confidence, and then start reading on how to manage congenital HIV infection in septic, malnourished children with....

PS-I known I'm being a bit neurotic. I know I'm going there to learn this stuff, but that has never stopped me from freaking out about looking stupid in front of others. I was that kid who never slept before the first day of school. I'm sure the night before starting kindergarten I was likely up late studying my colors.